I have been married for 7 months, and my husband wants a second wife, something I do not agree with. He says he likes helping people and has decided he wants a former lover to be a part of our marriage. Unfortunately, she is more than willing to sleep with him.
Now, he’s talking about helping her move even though he knows I’m against him having anything to do with her. She says she’s going to tell her daughter he is her boyfriend and not let her know he is married. She wants to be my friend, but I want nothing to do with her.
I sold my house, so I have nowhere to go. He refuses to go to marriage counseling because he says I am the problem. I am just about ready to cut my losses and move on. What do you think?
– Ready to Move On
You and your husband are already living on separate planets as far as your values are concerned. Unless you are willing to have an open marriage and another woman sharing your husband, I “think” it’s time to talk to a lawyer.
While flying across country with my toddler son, he started screaming hysterically as the plane began its descent. Nothing I could do would calm him. I tried giving him a bottle, a knuckle, a pacifier, even the corner of my shirt, but he continued to howl.
All of a sudden, a hand holding a lollipop appeared in the space between our seats and with it came a soft voice that said, “It’s the change in air pressure. Try this.” I took what turned out to be a sugar-free lollipop, and sure enough, the moment I unwrapped the generally frowned-upon treat, my son began sucking enthusiastically, calmed down and sat quietly until the plane came to a stop.
Ever since then I travel with sugar-free lollipops in my purse in the event a child near me is undone by the change in cabin pressure during landing. Some parents are skeptical at first, but when I use the tone and the words once spoken to me, they usually accept the treat, calm their child and sigh in relief. I encourage parents of children old enough to handle a lollipop to do the same just in case there is no lollipop angel on their flight.
– Tip From Up High
Hmmm. Perhaps airlines should stock an emergency supply of lollipops on their planes for parents in that situation. It would be easier than handing out earplugs and tranquilizers to all the other passengers on the flight.
My niece died last week from a fentanyl overdose. She was 43. My brother lives out of town, so I offered to retrieve my niece’s belongings. While going through them, I found a crack pipe and syringes. Should I tell my brother or keep it to myself?
– Keep It to Myself
Dear Keep It,
Please accept my sympathy for the loss your family has suffered. I think you should tell your brother. He is already aware that his daughter had a serious drug problem. If you’re afraid the news will add to his pain, don’t be. Disclosing it could help him realize the scope of her addiction.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.